They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
