just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
