there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
