but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
