He had one of those small greek statue penises
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize