I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
