worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
