im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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