**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
