I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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