Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize