Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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