The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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