I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
