I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
