I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
