what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
