dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
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dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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