i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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