The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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