The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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