i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
