Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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