i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
