Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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