The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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