dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
