She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
