I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
did i just pee glitter
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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