great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
