I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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