we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize