Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
