she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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