Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
