so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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