the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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