its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
