You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
