I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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