it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
