Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
