i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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