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Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
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