oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The Olympian is in my bed
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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