The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize