the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
