Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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