I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
