Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
