yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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