I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
