I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
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He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My vagina just recognized that song.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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