i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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