we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
