Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
