i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
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I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
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Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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