why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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