Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
