ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
