haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
