no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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