last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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