I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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