Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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