Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
