Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
my liver is dry heaving
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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