I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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